If you’re looking for beauty, go watch Wes Anderson. If you’re looking for drama—and maybe a little carnage—get yourself to The Impact Arena this Saturday, where Alfreton Town and Chester meet in a National League North clash that promises to be equal parts desperation, frustration, and the subtle joys of lower-league English football. Picture the diner scene from Heat with De Niro and Pacino on opposite sides: both battered, both dangerous, neither taking a backward step. That’s the undercard here.

Look, let’s not sugarcoat it: Chester scraping along in 17th, eleven points from ten matches, is like a prestige TV show on its third season—it had promise, but now you’re not sure if it’s genius or just spinning its wheels. Two wins, five draws, three losses. Their form is like a Marvel movie marathon: some highs, a lot of filler, and just enough moments to keep the die-hards hooked.

But the twist is Chester’s recent FA Cup form. Suddenly, the Blues are dropping goals like Taylor Swift drops new eras. That 5-1 Cup demolition of Curzon Ashton? Electric. A tough draw away, then a gritty 2-0 win at home over Morecambe to reach Cambridge United in the next round—this team has shown they can score when the pressure’s on. The squad feels like it’s finding its voice, its late dramatics putting the “seals” back in “siege mentality.” Fin Shrimpton popping up with a dramatic equaliser in the cup—give me that kid’s biopic, stat.

Then you pan the camera to Alfreton Town. Their form chart spells disaster movie: LDLWL across the last five, shipping goals like a cable company leaks your data, and averaging less than half a goal per game over their last ten. Their September was more John Carpenter than John Hughes—got blown out 5-0 by Oxford City, rolled over 3-0 by Spalding in the Cup, lost ugly at Radcliffe. Their solitary bright spot was a nervy 1-0 win over AFC Telford, a win that was celebrated with the hesitant joy of someone finding money in the couch but knowing the rent is due.

Let’s get tactical for a minute, Channel 4-style. Chester right now are trending up: their forwards are finally clicking, and they’re starting to share the goals around, not just leaning on one talismanic striker. They look more dangerous in transition, happy to sit mid-block and spring out wide. That’s bad news for Alfreton, who look allergic to both defending their box and keeping possession under pressure. Chester’s wide play could absolutely roast Alfreton’s full-backs, pressing high and getting crosses into the box, looking for late runners like Shrimpton. Could see Chester going with a 4-2-3-1, the attacking mids interchanging, trying to find gaps behind Alfreton’s big but slow centre-halves.

Alfreton? Expect a scrap. They’re going to be physical: get the ball in the mixer, try to rattle Chester, slow the tempo, drag it into the mud. It’s not going to be pretty; it’s going to be Chris Nolan’s Dunkirk—gritty, chaotic, lots of bodies flying and a sense that anything could go wrong. Their main hope is to nick a goal from a set piece or a long throw, then bunker in and hope Chester’s finishing cools off in the chilly Derbyshire air.

Key players to keep your eyes on like it’s Succession and you’re trying to spot the next backstab:

• Chester: Fin Shrimpton (the kid with a flair for drama), whoever’s up top and in form, and their midfield engine room, doing the dirty work so the attackers can play hero.
• Alfreton: Whoever is brave enough to take on defensive leadership, and their set-piece specialist, because that’s their ticket to steal a goal.

What’s at stake? For Chester, this is the match where they prove those Cup fireworks aren’t just a temporary sugar high. Three points, and they start looking up the table, maybe even re-igniting those playoff whispers. Lose, and it’s the same old “good in the cups, fragile in the league” routine—classic English television: so much potential, so little payoff.

For Alfreton, it’s all about survival, dignity, and not being the sad trombone meme of the National League North. It’s about stopping the rot, rallying the home crowd, and reminding everyone that even struggling teams have their day.

I’m calling it: Chester ride the positive wave, keep the goals flowing, and grab a tight win. But if you think Alfreton are going to roll over, you haven’t watched enough late-night football in the lower leagues. This is a match that could get weird, get wild, and offer the sort of mayhem that makes you remember why you love football in the first place. Don’t blink.